DOES YOUR AGENT SUCK

Would you buy a property from this agent? She only works nights, and is a giant pain in the neck.

While at a friend's anniversary luau last weekend, I heard a horrific tale about our demonic little listing agent.It seems that my friend's cousin and her husband were out driving around, looking at houses, and called the agent listed on the rickety sign in a front yard. I believe it was Cobb Webb Realty, Morticia Sharptooth-Agent. "Luckily" enough, Morticia happened to be in her lair, I mean office, and answered the phone. The next day, our unsuspecting donors...darn, I mean clients, were out looking with Morticia.

Here's where the story gets ghostly.Over the next several days, Ms. Sharptooth showed several properties to the young buyers. In what surely must have been a coincidence, she only showed the buyers her own listings. You see,by doing so on purpose would be a huge breech of her mandated,ethical responsibilities. Do vampires have ethics?...Anyway, in a matter of days, the "lucky" buyers were in escrow on a home.

But (there's always a but in a vampire story,isn't there?) once the buyers looked at what they had signed, here's what they found:

1. Morticia had only shown the buyers her own listings
2. The buyers had agreed to pay the seller's short sale negotiator on top of the purchase price. What is a short sale negotiator,you ask? When a listing agent is too lazy, too stupid, or flat dishonest, on behalf of the seller, they hire a negotiator to handle the transaction. Think sleazy car salesman that you never see. Ohh,and the buyers paid THOUSANDS to this ahemmm...negotiator. As an added benefit, the negotiator was owned by the same broker.
3. When the buyers questioned our pasty agent about the negotiator, she actually pulled other listings that featured these creatures from the dark, and presented them as a normal part of buying a home.
4. Our garlic fearing friend then had the buyers pay off part of the seller's existing second mortgage.Guess how much...yeppppp...THOUSANDS. Let us not forget that Morticia has the listing on this property.
5. When escrow was then hurriedly opened, guess who owned the escrow company? Once again,Morti's own broker. It's smelling a bit musty about now.
6. For the buyer's convenience, Morticia was even nice enough to refer them to a mortgage ghoul(I mean,guy) that she knows. One can only imagine the bloodletting in THAT loan.

The moral of the story is that if you are being pushed by your agent, or something just doesn't feel quite right, IT'S NOT!!! Ask around, call us, carry a wooden stake...just don't go along with an agent because they have glowing red eyes.